Not much is known about Mike Hawk before he formed Blanche Davidian with Monistat, and Osmond in late 2001. Through cryptic ramblings, and tiny bits of incoherent nonsense (usually picked up during drunken, emotional outbursts), we have finally begun to piece together a brief history of where Mike came from and why he does the things that he does.

Mike spent most of his life on the road moving from place to place with his father, a driver and crew member for Evel Knievel, and an aspiring professional gambler. During a stopover in Las Vegas, his father (name unknown), appears to have traded Mike to Madame Ni Hao Tang, leader of the infamous Bejing Tangs, to cover his huge losses after a week-long pai gow poker binge.

Madame Tang took Mike back to Hong Kong with her and raised him as the transvestite guitar god that the 'Tangs had desperately been searching for. After several years of touring the Asian underground punk scene, and learning the fine art of rock 'n' roll excess, Mike was soon too tall for the extensive costumes the Tangs wore, and was unceremoniously dumped back in Vegas where his journey had begun.

This is where the story dies until Mike was found wandering the Sonoran desert, naked and ranting something about a great flying pig leading him through the desert to the promised land.