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Born on an unknown date sometime in the late 20th
century, drummer Hugh Jass came from an obscure
beginning. After a normal American childhood, Li'l
Hugh decided to expand his horizons and break away
from the mold of nine previous generations of truck
drivers and part-time dreamcatcher/rainstick makers.
His dream: marry rich and do nothing. He headed
for the Orient (mainly because of his love for K-9's)
thinking, what better place to find a rich wife
than in the Far East?
At the age of 11, Hugh set up shop
in Shanghai and started his own mail-order husband
business. The operation, however lucrative, had
only one flaw--no one ever ordered "Little
Hugh Jass." Discouraged, disgruntled, and disengaged,
Hugh decided to sell everything he owned, buy a
pig suit, and head for beautiful Argentina. There
he pursued his second dream as a sidewalk entertainer.
At first business was good, but once people had
seen "Bosco the Dancing Pig" once, they
had seen it all. One day while in a deep depression,
Hugh drank himself into a coma. Someone found Hugh's
corpse-like body in the gutter, in full Piggy regalia,
and noticed with his hometown shaved into the hair
on his ass. He was mistaken for dead, quickly packed
up and shipped via airmail to the States.
Hugh awoke in mid-flight, terrified.
He began rhythmically pounding on the walls of his
casket, taking the passengers and crew by total
surprise. A tabloid journalist happened to be on
board during the disturbance and smelled a story.
The headline read, "Flying Pig Lives! (and
has decent rhythm)". Blanche Davidian, in dire
need of a drummer, immediately tracked Hugh down
after seeing the headline. Jaime, Mike, and Ozzy
took Hugh up in a beautiful, red hot air balloon
sponsored by 99¢ Only Stores, and recruited
him in mid-air. Little Hugh Jass has been a Davidian
brother ever since. |
